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Cracking wide open

We are in a time of great transition,

the world is straining under the pressure of human demands.

Control, fear and judgement are the effect the ego has on our souls.

We spin wildly from distraction to distraction, 

never stopping to admire the view,

but even in the darkness of caverns there is light that breaks through. 

beneath the skin, 

we bleed life blood, 

in the cracks we habour seeds.

New life is within us, 

a new world is bubbling to the surface, 

Transformation is in our nature, 

Life is in a constant state of flux. 

Death and decay are the prerequisite to abundance and growth, 

admire the view from here because these are exciting times. 

Don’t fear the inevitable,  

Don't resist the next step, 

Stand on life’s edge and breathe in the unknown.  

love is the new world order and its coming to get ya! 

Beauty, grace and kindness have a snowball effect,

stand strong in the face of adversity,

hold space for those that fear the most because they need the most love and care,

life is a choice, 

love is our nature.

Imagine a world led by heart over head, soul over ego,

love over hate,

peace over war,

awareness over distraction,

consciousness over sleep.

Our hearts hold the secrets of the soul, 

the soul wakes in the midst of our darkest moments,

the last strands of hope call us home to the truths at our very core.

We have come far so quickly, we can communicate with anyone, anytime, we have made huge technological advances and we are suppose to have a better quality of life now, than at any other time in history. Yet so many of us are sadder, more disconnected, anxious and out of harmony with our true nature. With nature.

Half the problem comes from the fact that we are rarely present in our lives, we are constantly busy, absorbed in distractions.

 Life flies by at a pace of knots. I can’t tell you how often I hear people say “I don’t know where the time has gone”, “there’s never enough time”.

Especially now I’ve had my little boy Rudy because whenever people stop to chat they always say “cherish every moment because before you know it he’ll be leaving home” 

"it goes in a flash”

“Blink and you’ll miss it”. With all the busyness, all the rushing around we have started to resemble a sort of human ghosts. 

Consuming, working, sleeping but never really there, never really happy or satisfied with our lot. In the rush to improve, increase and make more we are forgetting the important opportunity to embody our lives!

This may sound bleak and it doesn’t have to be this way but it is something that I have been aware of for a very long time. My experiences in life have awoken me to these truths and I have gathered and gained skills along my path that have reconnected me with my own life, woken me up, allowing me to realigning with my senses, awakening to the beautiful reality in living in the moment and living my truth from my heart. 

Step back 6 years, I was a different person, I was queen of the smiley, happy facade. 

I was deeply unhappy, I had been battered down by very poor relationship choices, I was in a job where I was able to help and support people with their mental health difficulties but not always in a way that felt whole, natural or very me.

I was totally out of alignment and 

I was drained, I literally felt like I was having the life sucked out of me.

I gave in, I let go and I sunk down into my dark place. 

As I lay in the darkness of my bedroom day after day, all I had left to hold on to was the beautifully healing sounds that surrounded me as I was stirring from this dark slumber I had chosen as life. 

I was giving up on the life I had create for myself, I was waking up to how lost I had become, how far from home I had strayed. In that lonely timeless darkness I was actually healing. I was at the darkest depths of my soul but I was being soothed by the soft sounds of life passing by, birds scratching around and singing outside my window, the school children full of life in the playground opposite. 

I was static for the first time in a long time, I was allowing myself time to slowly wake up, to listen. I listened to the long lost visions of my heart, my soul, my dreams. 

By simply listening, quietening down my mind for long enough to realise what I’d  been listening to this whole time was actually not me at all. I was infact waking up to the detached fear monkey mind of my ego. 

These simple sounds I was listening to taught me how to tune out of my ego, I had no more energy for this negative, destructive force that was taking me down. So I just focused on the bird songs, the sound of the children laughing and playing, I focused on the light as it shone in and glimmered on the dust particles as they gracefully floated through the air.

I was present for the first time in a long time, the power of that time changed me forever. 

I had a choice in that moment, give up or choose again. So slowly but surely I got myself up and I started to reconnect with myself, who I really was at my core.

I walked through the dark woods of my mind and I chose to fight for the life I was meant for, the life my soul was yurning for. The real me was ready to face some hash truths, move through the darkness to find the hidden gems that were laying dormant at the far edge of the woods. 

I edged my way toward the shards of light penetrating the darkness. 

I was choosing life, real, full bodied, heart in your mouth, edge of your seat, bad ass life! 

This is part of my journey, this was my time of awakening. 

Everyday, each moment is a choice. 

This journey has enriched my life, I found the gems laying dormant at the edge of the woods, I gained more truth in this journey than I have ever gained in all the years of education and jobs I’ve done.

But here is where I am today, on a mission to now serve you with the combination of skills I have gained along my journey so far. Incorporating my Art education and ongoing practice, my skills and knowledge gained from my work in mental health, education and all my life’s journeys so far.

We each have our unique story, we each have hidden gems hidding in our stories, in our pains and hardships. Making meaning out of the things that otherwise feel unfair, like life kicking you In the teeth is important, there are always lessons in all of life’s ups and downs. Life won’t throw you anything you can’t handle! You are stronger than you think, you are the master of your own beautiful destiny! 

I hope that part of my journey can be your map. I hope I can help you align to something more real to you.

So you can live your best, bad ass life! 

My art, my journey, my life, the ups and downs, the good times and the bad, it’s all been lessons leading me forwards to discover my true purpose in how I can truly serve and help others in a way that is in line with and from my heart. In learning to step back from your life, step back and notice your thoughts, your behaviors and actions. 

Giving yourself time to slow down, to breathe deeply and connect with yourself and then connect with the earth you will find great healing in this sacred place.

And as we choose to heal ourselves the world heals too.

It all starts from within.

I wish to help you to realign, let go and welcome yourself back home, to the truths deep in your heart. 

You can easily start at home today with a practise of awareness during mindful action. 

Take a deep breath and bring your awareness to the moment your in by learning to feel sensations, sounds, feelings with regard to your environment. 

Now bare with me on this one! Initially do something as simple as spend a minute with the kettle whilst you make a cup of tea, notice it’s subtle sounds and movements in the environment, you will notice as the saying goes, a watched kettle never pops. How long does it feel like when you actually stop and notice? Enjoy being there, doing nothing, lean in to the anticipation, the bordom perhaps, notice how it makes you feel, frustrated? sleepy? does it give you any sensations? Thoughts will surface, that’s ok, breathe into them, allow them, and as soon as you can release them and go back to the kettle, really experience the time there in that moment.

This might seem like a pointless exercise but it’s so easy to ‘just do this or just do that when you have these precious little moments of potential stillness, quietness, nothingness. 

Especially as a woman, we can easily storm through a day multitasking like a wizard on auto pilot but this speeding around, flitting from one thing to the next might feel efficient but this kind of behaviour is a driving force behind anxiety. Living like this we are constantly thinking of the next thing we need to do, need to acheive and by the end of the day we wonder what the hell we have actually done as we were'nt present in any of the hundreds of multitasking acts we did throughout the day.

The more awareness you can bring to new situations the more mindful and present you can be during your day the more life will start to become joyful and peaceful. Rather than racing onto the next thing, you can just enjoy where you are right now. 

After all, right now is really all we have!  Don’t let it be anything thing more to stress you out, just give yourself credit for stepping into a more conscious path. Have gratitude for more awakened moments.  With every new breath we have another opportunity to step up, step in and embrace life fully.


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